


dream.

by tietouch



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Bad End!Koujaku, M/M, Slight spoiler for BE!Koujaku?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 17:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1235614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tietouch/pseuds/tietouch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, I want to ask at him, what does it feel if we live in a dream?</p>
            </blockquote>





	dream.

**Author's Note:**

> I just started playing DMMd this week and I got both of Koujaku's ending (good and bad), and I just...well. This popped into my head somehow.  
> Self-betaed so there's mistakes in this.  
> Enjoy!

"What does it feel if we live in a dream?"

-x-

d r e a m

a fanfic by tie19

dramatical murder ©  nitro+chiral

-x-

We were at peace.

I was there, sitting in Koujaku's lap, watching the stars blinking in the Platinum Jail's sky while nuzzling each other. Koujaku's hands are settled on my stomach, holding my body closer to his. I could feel his warmth of his chest on my back, I could feel the softness of his breath, and I feel at peace.

Because Koujaku's here.

"Shouldn't we get ready? We're already late, right?" Koujaku asked; his voice just above a whisper as he nuzzled my neck lovingly. I smiled, reaching out to place my hand on the back of his head before placing a small kiss on his forehead.

"Let's stay like this a little bit longer." I whispered, and just like that, Koujaku nods.

"If you say so," he replied, whispering too. "But if anyone—especially Noiz scolds us for being late, don't blame me. It's your idea."

"I will blame you anyway."

Koujaku chuckled, and his hands moved to linger up from my stomach to my chest, slowly tickling it. I yelped in surprise, and then a stream of faint giggles escaped my lips as his fingers tickled my body. I barely heard him whisper, "What a naughty boy."

We stayed like that; as Koujaku continued to tickle my stomach for five minutes before stopping because of exhaustion. We still close to each other, but now Koujaku is lying on his back, and I'm lying on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat under my ears, and once again, I'm at peace.

"Let's go, now," he whispered, stroking my now short blue hair--I agreed Koujaku's wish to cut my hair a week ago--before kissing the back of my head. I nod, nuzzling into his chest before stumbling to get up.

We spent another five minutes on dressing each other, and after we're ready, we walked outside together. I wasn't too surprised to see Clear--without his gas mask on--standing outside with Ren beside his feet, his tail waggling back and forth.

"Let's go, Master! I've been waiting for you for a looooong time!" Clear exclaimed, moving his hands up to the air, as if trying to tell us that he's somewhat annoyed.

"Blame Koujaku for his warm chest," I responded, and Koujaku slapped my arm lightly with a 'Hey!'. Clear just laughed at that, and then he turned his back.

"Let's go, then!"

Without another word, we left; Koujaku's fingers entertwining in mine. After a few minutes of walking, we saw Noiz there, standing beside a tree with his hands in his pocket, obviously waiting for us.

"You two are taking a long time," Noiz muttered; his voice as stoic as usual. Before I could open my mouth to react, Koujaku responded, "Blame Aoba for being too snuggly with me earlier."

I only responded with a laugh, and Noiz just snorted. He then turned his back and walking away, as if motioning all of us that were behind him to follow.

We walked, and as we do, a spark of blue glittered in the sky above. I could feel Koujaku's fingers squeezed my hand softly, and I can't help but smile.

"This feels like a dream, you know?" I whispered, and suddenly, Koujaku stops walking.

Surprisingly, everything around me stops too. Clear stopped walking, Noiz stopped moving, Ren stopped wagging his tail, and everyone around me and Koujaku stops moving too. I was confused. What happened—?

"Koujaku?" I called out, and a squeeze in my hand was the first answer I got. I was relieved that he didn't stop moving, but still, I'm concerned and confused. As time passed, slowly Koujaku turns his back, and my heart aches seeing the sad expression that was plastered on his face.

"What if this is really a dream, Aoba?" Koujaku asks, and suddenly I feel that his voice is somehow distant. I blinked, dumbfounded, and Koujaku took a step closer to me.

"What if, this Platinum Jail we're walking on, everyone around us, the Noiz, Clear and Ren ahead of us," he paused, reaching out to stroke my hair but stops midway, "And me, that's standing in front of you, is fake? That everything's a dream?"

Something pricked my heart when Koujaku said that. "W—what do you mean?"

"What if all of this is really a dream?" he asks once more, and a painful smile painted on his face. It hurts me to see it, but I can't turn my gaze now.

"Koujaku, what—"

"Because all of this is a dream, Aoba."

Again, everything stops for me, if it's even possible.

"Don't you remember what happened?" Koujaku asked in a whispering voice, that pained smile still present on his face and it actually hurts me to see him. "You...you failed Scrap. You ruined me, then... You ruined yourself."

...ah.

Now I remember.

It has been days. Weeks. Months, even, and I had forgotten that day.

The day when I failed doing Scrap on Koujaku. The day when I ruined him, and slowly ruining myself with guilt

"...ah," was all I managed to say, as Koujaku smiled again. This time, he reached out again without hesitating, his fingers softly touches my cheek.

"Don't cry, Aoba. This is just a dream." Koujaku whispered, his thumb brushing over my cheek as tears streaming down from my eyes.

How could you say that...?

"It's okay," Koujaku whispered, stepping closer to me. Slowly, the ground below me cracked and shatters into tiny fragments, and some of it flying on the sky. I could see the way Clear, Noiz and Ren's body cracked before shattering into the air too, and it's only me and Koujaku that remains whole.

"It's okay," Koujaku repeated, and slowly, his fingers cracked.

No. No. Not him too. No.

"No," I sobbed, fisting his yukata and yanking him closer to me as I hugged him. "No!"

"I'm not real, Aoba. I'm just a part of your memories," Koujaku whispered, and I bet he's still smiling. He moved his cracked fingers to stroke my hair before whispering, "It's okay. You'll be fine."

"But you're not!" I sobbed again, raising my tone as I feel the fabric beneath my fingers started to crumble. "You're not—I—I d-destroyed you! You're not...I...if you're not there... I..."

"It's okay," he repeated, and slowly, I can't feel his body or fingers anymore. "You'll be fine, without me..."

My eyes widen in horror as I see him smiling, his body crumbling fast enough for me to cry out in despair when I can't reach him any longer.

-x-

Just like that, I woke up.

I could feel wet trails of tears on my cheeks, and when I rubbed my eyes, they're still wet with unshed tears. I looked around, and I just realized that somehow I fell asleep in Koujaku's cell.

My heart clenches painfully in recognition as I saw him, sleeping a few meters ahead of me, his hair completely red, not the dark blue-ish black color that I usually adore. Although he had his eyes closed, I could remember the color; as red as blood.

I remember.

Although I've never been in control of this body for months, but I’m still watching myself destroying Koujaku. I'm still watching as my 'Desire' plays with Koujaku everyday, I'm still watching Koujaku with heavy feeling settled down in my chest. And yet I couldn't do anything.

I destroyed him.

I know I'm such an idiot for failing in Scrapping him. Oh, how much I wanted to turn the time back now, how much wanted to say the right words to him, how much I wanted to hold Koujaku and try to fix him even though it might not be possible.

But, this case is probably the same as whick I broke Mizuki; so probably Koujaku's broken beyond repair.

Tears started to sting in my eyes again, and without any permission, they fall from my eyes again. Something painful clawed from inside my heart, telling me that it's my fault that Koujaku's broken, it's my fault that he becomes like this, it's my fault that everything happens.

Without warning, a stream of the memories of Koujaku's smiling face filled my mind. It actually hurts me, as I remembered how kind he was, how handsome he was, how gentle he was, whenever he's with me.

But now it's all gone.

"And it's my fault."

Another stream of tears coming down from my eyes, before dripping down to my cheek down my chin and wetting the white fabric of my clothing. It hurts me to remember about the Koujaku that I used to know, it hurts me to remember his smile, it hurts me to remember his laugh...

_"Don't give in, Aoba."_

...and his words that was able to cheer me up whenever I'm down.

I miss him. I miss Koujaku. Not the Koujaku that's still sleeping ahead of me, but the Koujaku that I used to know.

The Koujaku that would laugh with me. The Koujaku that would smile for me. The Koujaku that would jump in front of me despite the fact that he can get killed to protect me. The Koujaku that loves me.

I want to go back. I want to turn everything upside down.

I want to be with Koujaku once again.

I shifted, and something fell from me to the ground with a loud clang. When I looked down, I saw a small knife lying on the ground, and an idea popped into my head.

Not so long after, I heard Koujaku groans, and when I turned my head, he's there, already beside me.

As soon as my gaze lay on him, pain squeezed my heart. I barely recognize him like this. I can't see the Koujaku that I used to know.

_What have I done?_

Tears sting in my eyes, and without thinking, I leaned closer to him.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, quickly wrapping him in a hug. He doesn't resist, he doesn't react, he just let me hug him like that. "I'm so sorry..." I repeated, and now I can feel the way tears streaming down my face.

He doesn't respond. He just leaned his head on my chest; a low growl escaped his lips.

"... Koujaku," I whispered, trying to stifle my sobs as I took a step back from the hug. Koujaku responded to my call, as he tilts his head to the side after I call out his name. "... What do you think about living in a dream?"

I didn't expect a verbal reply, so I accepted his small grunt as a reply. I bit my lips, but then slowly, I pulled out my knife.

"Koujaku," I started, leaning closer to him again, my knife hovering just above his stomach. He was still, he doesn't resist, as if he's waiting for me to kill him with the knife. "Let us life together once again."

I tried to move my hands, but I can't. I tried to stab Koujaku, but I can't. I can't, as tears streaming down my face in a fast pace once again.

Maybe I can if I stabbed myself first.

Without thinking twice or hesitating, I turned my knife to my stomach instead, and quickly, I stabbed myself.

Pain seared from the place where I stabbed myself, and my knees buckle. I barely registered Koujaku's grunts and growls as I coughed, red liquid running down my chin.

"...y-you," I coughed, my hands trembling as I moved my knife to his stomach again. "Y-you too, you'll—" I coughed again, and I feel more blood running down my chin. "Let's...kill...you."

Slowly, I pushed my hand that was gripping the knife to Koujaku's stomach, and he growls loudly as I stabbed him.

I panted before I pulled the knife out of Koujaku's stomach, and withot warning, I collapsed into him. Koujaku was leaning on the wall, so he could support my weight when I collapsed. My stomach stings, and I can feel the way my white fabric of clothing turned to red with my and Koujaku's blood.

With much effort, I tried to open my eyes to look at Koujaku, and now I can see tears streaming down his face.

He grunts something that sounded like "Aoba", and I can't help but smile, despite the tears that still running down from my eyes. I weakly lifted my hand to place it on the back of his head, and slowly, I kissed him.

I tasted blood, but I wasn't sure if it was mine or his. But then he returned my kiss, and something inside me bloomed with joy.

"It's...okay," I croaked after we parted, my energy slipping from my body as time passed. I moved my fingers to stroke his hair, and he just closes his eyes at my touch. "It's okay. It's okay."

I don't know how long we stayed like that, feeling that we're back to the early days, when Koujaku is Koujaku, and when my 'Desire' wasn't there. But as time passed again, I feel myself getting drowsy and everything around me become distant, and when I closed my eyes, I heard a voice. The voice is familiar, and I know it is not Desire's.

It's Koujaku's.

Not the Koujaku that's supporting my body now, but the old Koujaku that I know.

"It's okay."

-x-

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

I groaned when something flicked my forehead, and when I opened my eyes, I see Koujaku half-lying beside me. When he registered that I'm awake, he smiles, and reaching down to kiss my forehead.

"Good morning," he whispered, his fingers playing with my hair as he kissed my forehead once again. "How's your sleep?"

I didn't reply as I snuggled closer to him, the tip of my nose nuzzled his chest and he chuckled softly. He started to stroke my hair, and I feel at peace.

But I still remembered what happened before. So I asked.

"Koujaku," I started, my voice still heavy with sleep. "Is this a dream?"

Koujaku fell silent for awhile, but then he delivered a kiss to my forehead. "Yes," he answered, his fingers still moving to stroke my hair. "But we're not going to wake up so it'll be okay."

That brings smile to my face, and quickly I wrapped my hands around him.

"That's good," I whispered, opening my eyes to face him fully. He's smiling too, and his face is unbelieveably close to mine.

"I love you," Koujaku says, hugging me closer to him. I feel warmth from his body, and I can't help but smile happily. "I love you, Aoba. I always do."

"I love you too," I answered, happines filling my heart quickly and I feel like an idiot. He chuckled, and then he kissed me softly.

It'll go on like this. There's no more Scrapping, there's no more my 'Desire', there's only the two of us here—me and Koujaku.

And everything will stay like this, since this is a dream that we won't wake up from...


End file.
